And then she was One...

"The Birthday Girl"

Today is my baby girl's first birthday...

Where did that year go?  I write this with literal tears.  I can still smell the bleach and vinegar that I went on a cleaning frenzy with days before she arrived.  My water broke at Toy's R Us at around 4:00pm, as I was taking something back for the fifteenth time in exchange for something I'm sure I never used but though I JUST had to have.  I called Michael who was working in Dalhart and told him it was time and he rushed home.  Then our plans of laboring at home went in the toilet because my water had broke and there was risk of infection after a few hours.  After being chewed out by the on call doctor for laboring at all at home (even though I had my doctor's approval) we grabbed the bags, the cutesy car seat with the crafty flower that I had hot glued on (its no longer there), the new, clean, and fancy diaper bag that I had just received from Serena & Lily (now missing a button and the strap is paper-clipped to hold it together), and headed for the car.  We got to the hospital, got checked in, and got ready to have a baby (so we thought).  I didn't start active labor until 6:30 am the next morning we arrived at 9:00pm that night.  So we made ourselves at home, well, as much at home as you can make yourself when you are hooked up to three different machines, have 85 plastic bracelets on your wrists, and are wearing a hospital gown that reveals your exterior :).  To top it all off, I wanted to have Lily naturally and these machines weren't leaving me a lot of room to "labor" as I planned to.  My plans weren't exactly going as I had envisioned in my head and written out in my "birth-plan" (whatever that is) but it was going exactly according to His plan, even though I was in the flesh and couldn't see it at the time.

The Lord so graciously opened my eyes, calmed me down, and extended His hand to me after I prayed and surrendered to His will instead of my own in the birth of our child that BELONGS to Him.  I asked Him for help and He answered.  He gave me help through my husband who never left my side (not even to eat), the kind and beautiful nurses that He provided, and by His strength that He provided for my body.  At around 6:30 I started what they call "active" labor, if that's active then I don't know what in the world they call the other stuff because it sure seemed "active" to me!  I started pushing at around 11:00 a.m., and gave birth to our little girl at around 12:04 p.m.  I have never been through anything more amazing than that event.  My life was forever changed and I had Christ to thank for it.

I had been given a gift that I didn't deserve.  A gift that God entrusted my husband and I with and put into our care temporally.  Her name was Lily Cait Graham and she danced into our hearts one year ago today.

Now that I told you of how she came into this world, I want to tell you a little bit about her...

Her name means "pure and innocent flower" and that is what she is.  The lilies in the Bible were considered a flower of rare beauty, elegance, and grace.  It's amazing to me how names are such a powerful thing.  She has the sweetest and kindest personality that I've ever seen, she loves people, has the most contagious smile and laugh, and just quite simply just takes my breath away.  She is our little Lily and I love her.

**Little side note here: As I look back on my first year as a mom, I wished I would have NOT worried so much, and sweated the small stuff, it robbed me of so many moments I could have just been enjoying and loving on my little girl.  It really all does work out, so don't be so as anxious as I was because it does go by as fast as they say! :)

I want to end this tribute to my daughter by writing her a short letter of what I pray for her...

My dearest Lily,

You have captured my heart my dear and will forever be my little girl.  I want to tell you what I pray for you and what I hope you will become.  First and foremost, Daddy and I pray that you would be saved at a young age so that you would have many years in this life to love and serve Christ, it will be your greatest joy my Daughter.  Second, I pray that you would become a woman that fears, loves, trusts, and is captured by Jesus Christ and that you would be devoted to Him and desire to give your life away for the cause of making His name known.  Third, I pray that you would be filled completely brim full of His love and compassion for the lost, hungry, poor, orphan, widow, afflicted and outcast.  Oh my dear, that your heart would break for what His heart breaks for and that you would display His love to the dying world around us.  Fourth, I pray that you would keep yourself pure because you want to love and obey Christ and for your husband to be.  I did not get to experience the joy and beauty this brings but I am praying you will my little girl.  Fifth, I pray that if it is the Lord's will for you to marry, you would marry a man that loves Christ more than he loves you, because if He does, there is no question of how he will treat you, his love for you will flow out of that relationship he has with Jesus and he will WANT to love you as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her.  Sixth, I pray that your focus would not be on your external beauty and on all the latest trends and fashions but that instead it would be internal and you would desire to focus on your heart and the kind of beauty that never fades.  Clothing yourself with  humility, kindness, meekness, joy, peace, and self-control and aiming to become a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very pleasing in the sight of the Lord (1 Peter 3:4).  Seventh,  please always always remember that growth is a process that you go through until you meet your King in Glory.  He is patient, loving, gentle, kind, merciful and full of more love than you could ever comprehend.  Remember His love little one, always, always remember His love.  The kind of love that loved so deep, so hard, so much, that He sent His beloved son to come and die in your place and take the punishment that you deserved so that you could live in eternity with Him (John 3:16) instead of eternity apart from Him in darkness forever.  We did not and don't do anything to deserve this kind of love, that is the gift of grace, it is truly unmerited favor in its highest form. 

My dear Lily I pray so much that you see Christ in your Dad and me but we will fail you in so many ways, so please look to Him who IS perfect and He will NEVER fail you and He will always be able to give you all the love you need.

Happy Birthday my sweetheart.  You have radically changed our lives and we are so glad you did.  You have brought more joy, excitement, sweetness, and love into our home than we could have ever imagined.  You are our treasure, our little Lily boo-boo, our 'Lil Cait,' our Tootie, and we are so thankful the Lord gave you to us.

With All my Love & Gratitude,

Momma

I would like to treat you to a couple of my favorite photos that chronicle the life of Lily.