Favorite Products

Hello Again!

Wow! Two posts in one day, I'm a little too excited to be back to blogging y'all, someone better slow me down! :) Well, I figured this post was a great way to ease myself back into writing and I also thought it just looked like a lot of fun!  It is totally not anything deep or spiritual but it can be because all things are to be done for the glory of God, even silly little posts like this one. 

I've always thought it would be fun to review products and talk about them with other women and see which ones worked for you and which ones just flat out didn't.  I don't go clothes shopping very much at all unless its my birthday and well, that falls once a year.  So I thought I would do more product type things and baby stuff cause well, that's what season of life I'm in!  Sound like fun?!  I know your excited!  ha ha.  Without further a due....here is my list of All Time Favorites!!!

These are in NO particular order

#1  My all-time favorite baby item I own.

"Boon" Flair High Chair 

This is my favorite item because of its sleek design and easy clean up!  I am a bit of a neat freak and so the cracks and crevices of a typical high chair were driving me crazy and this has none of those.  Just wipe down with a damp cloth and rinse the "dishwasher safe" tray and your done!  No spray hoses, scrubbing brushes, or crusted cheerios to the cushion, it really is that easy.  However, the down side is the hefty price tag.  I cheated and got this at cost so mine ended up costing me the same as a regular high chair would because I wouldn't be able to purchase it at its normal price but after using it, I definitely would want to and it would be well worth it!  Especially, after you put this puppy through a couple of kids.  Its a great investment!

#2 My next favorite "most used" baby item I own.

"Boon" Grass Counter-top Drying Rack

Another Boon product!  I wish they would call me and let me be there spokesperson because they have awesome products that I stand behind!  This drying rack is amazing and so cute!  No more putting out a dishtowel to dry all those bottles, sippy cups, bowls, and spoons just throw them on this and let em dry!  Its also "dishwasher safe" and easy to difference and is just so cute sitting on top of your counter, especially during Spring! And for all you Dalhart people, these are for sale at the Pear Tree in Dalhart (located inside ReStore on Denver Ave.) they've been going fast and I know why!

#3 New favorite "Natural" Product

I don't know about you, but it freaks me out to have a little one that is crawling all over floors and touching surfaces that have been treated and cleaned with all those harmful chemicals that they put into cleaners these days.  I am slowly trying to transition everything in our home to natural alternatives.  It's a process because its more expensive and hard to find products that actually are effective and reliable.  I'm excited because the search is over in the cleaning area with Mrs. Meyer's Cleaning Products and Laundry Detergent.  These products are amazing and they smell heavenly!  The scents are not too strong and are so fresh and clean smelling, my favorite is the Basil Scent!  My husband loves it too and loves how everything doesn't smell infested with chemicals and heavy fragrance.  Try them people, I think you will love them!

   

#4 Favorite Facial Product (Super Cheap :)

Here we are ladies!  My all time go to facial scrub.  This is the leading lady to my night time skin routine!  It feels good, it removes all the dirt and grime of the day, and leaves your skin feeling clean and fresh.  I go through this stuff like crazy because I love it and you can find it at Target so that's a huge bonus :)

#5 Favorite Faker (You'll see what I mean by that :)

This my friend is St. Tropez tanning mousse and it is A-MAZING!  I used to be a tanning bed junkie when I was in high school then got older and realized that wasn't the smartest idea in the world so I discovered this stuff.  I don't like to wear make-up everyday so I just put a little pump of this on my face and it does the trick.  It makes your skin a beautiful color that doesn't even require make-up.  Just make sure you put gloves on because it will stain your hands and believe me its not pretty!  This stuff lasts forever, I bought mine a year ago and since I don't use it all the time its still almost full.  I had to order mine from sephora.com but I think you can find it on amazon.  

#6 Favorite Snack

For all you gluten-free, dairy-free people like me, this is my new favorite snack!  I love these bars and I have to have one on hand all the time because they keep me from being tempted to break my diet.  This one is Almond & Coconut and it is sooo good.  These are just made out of nuts and fruit and are sweetened with honey or agave.  My little Lily loves them too.  :)

#7 Favorite App

The Desiring God fighter verse app.  It is a collection of memory verses that you can go through each day.  It will sing the verse to you, read the verse to you, and then let you check it off once it is memorized.  You can even read commentaries on the verse to go deeper.  Lily and I go through the collection together and even though she has no clue what her weird momma is doing it is benefiting to us both.  MORE then I need good facial scrub, self-tanner, and a good snack, I need the Word of God stored up in my heart.  All of this stuff is silly and none of it means a hill of beans in light of eternity.  I hope you know that and I pray I can remember that day to day.  Stuff is just stuff and it will all be left here when we go to be in Glory.  But, the word of God remains forever...

"All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever." 1 Peter 1:24-25.

With all that being said, I hope you enjoyed today's post.  It was just for pure fun!  Who knows maybe you'll try out some of these silly things I enjoy and you'll love them, maybe not.  All that matters is that we keep our eyes on Christ and eternity.  Seek Him first and enjoy all the riches of His love and grace toward us.  He is a good and loving God.  

Blessings Beloved,

Cait

Discontent

Hello out there!

I fell off the face of the earth but don't worry I am back in action and excited to return to the blogging world!  

How have all you been lately?! I've missed you...  I am constantly saying this but life has been crazy lately.  I think that life is just always crazy and I am not the best at handling it all.  Many recent updates lately, my sweet mother got in an accident on the way to pick up my daughter and broke her back. :( She is doing well though and recovering wonderfully!  Praise God!  He is good and I am so thankful that it wasn't much worse because it could have been.  God is good all the time ladies and I've realized my mother is strongest person I know she is truly a woman of grace.  I am so thankful to have her as my mother, she gives strength to those around her.  Then we have almost moved like 20 times, well I'm exaggerating but my husband and I are always up for an adventure.  We recently got into this deep state of discontentment and wanted to move to California, he applied for several associate pastor jobs out there and even looked into to going to school then we just realized we were just discontent and we needed to stay right where we were.  Then I read a wonderful book, Kisses from Katie, I highly recommend by the way!  I got obsessed with Africa, I started studying Africa and learning as much as I could about it and even got hooked up with several organizations out there and well, we were ready to sell all we owned and move to Africa to take care of orphans.  Then, the Lord said well that's a great idea but not what I have for you, at least not for now.  It's amazing how much we try to do on our own!  So, now we are trying to buy a home in Amarillo and will make this our home for now at least or possibly forever.  I was scared at this idea for so long.  I am an adventurer, I want to go and see the world, sell all my junk, and do something crazy!  The Lord has a sense of humor though and calms my wild spirit and says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9  I am so thankful that the Lord Himself establishes our every step, even when we our halfway to Africa and dreaming of the beaches of California.  He will establish you right where He wants you and move you when He wants you to move.  So here we are people, right here in our little quaint life in Amarillo, TX.  We found the key is, be faithful where you are at doing what's written in scripture and everything else will fall perfectly into place.  "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33.  My husband and I were missing out on the things God was trying to teach us here and the ministry opportunities He had given us here because we were discontent and anxious.  Thank you Father for showing us our sin and giving us the grace to rejoice in where we are right now!  He is so merciful and faithful and His love really does endure forever though all things!  This is a short entry for today but I just wanted to get my feet wet and inform you on all the happenings in the Graham Fam!  

Much love in Christ, our Lord,

Cait

 

Desperate for God...

Sweet moment after a hard night with a fever

Wow!

Its been since February since I've written.  So, for those who have given up on me, I understand.  Let's just say, I've been in quite a funk lately to say the least.  I feel like I've just been spinning my wheels and getting absolutely nowhere.  Do you ever feel like that, Beloved?  God has provided the perfect circumstances in the last couple of months to just flat out make me desperate for Him.  This is always a good and a very profitable thing but wheww, its hard and sometimes exhausting.  It almost feels like you aren't going to make it out alive, (or at least that's what I think in my extremely dramatic moments, I have those too often by the way :) I haven't had any earth shattering or horrible circumstances like you would think based on the way I've been acting lately.  I've just had normal everyday stuff that I haven't ran to Jesus with, therefore, it has turned into one huge mess.  Please tell me I'm not the only one out there that does that?!  I know I'm not, I just want to be reminded ;) 

First of all, Lily has just been sick a lot.  Which is so normal for a baby to be sick all the time but its literally been nearly every week with a new kind of sickness.  This means a lot of indoor time and very little communication with the outside world; which often results in one very tired, lonely, and discouraged momma.  Of course, it doesn't have to be that way, its just been that way because instead of making the Lord God my refuge, I turned to other things and chose to tune out the tender voice of the Holy Spirit and gratify my flesh and just flat out feel sorry for myself.  This was a very bad decision by the way, just in case you were wondering.  Second, I feel like every time I have attempted to get involved in a women's Bible Study day or night it always just doesn't work out.  I was loving attending this Precepts Bible Study and was studying and devouring the word for hours a night and then getting the chance to talk about what I had learned with godly women and sent my precious daughter to the nursery for awhile.  Well, my daughter revolted against that idea in a big, bad, way!  She started hyperventilating and trying to gag herself when the worker would give her a bottle and so I went and got her and now I can't even walk into a nursery room of any kind without her completely melting down and arching her back in fear of me leaving her.  Hmm...that went well.  Then my second night time Bible Study (which seems to be a better idea because there is no nursery involved) just hasn't worked out either.  Something always seems to happen, either Michael is working late, or I was working in Dalhart, or Lily's sick, or something.  Third, some of our closest friends moved away and I have just been lonely without them and their fellowship.  However, all these things have happened perfectly in the Lord's gracious and loving providence.

He has worked all these situations together in His perfect and infinite wisdom in order to make me desperate for more of Him.  He is wanting to create character in me, sanctify me, cleanse me of idols, show me my selfishness, and just make me more dependent upon Him.  Wow, what a loving God.  He is that intimately involved in our lives, Beloved.  He knows what is best at all times and will always work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I need to preach this to myself every day and remind myself of who God is and what He is like through His word.  He knows what we need even if it isn't always what we want.  His goal is not that we are happy in this world but that we are being conformed into the image of His Son for the eternity to come.  And happiness won't even be an issue there, because we will be with our King and Savior forever with no sinful nature holding us back from loving Him and worshiping Him with all of our heart, mind, body, and soul.  Sounds like bliss to me...  "This temporal suffering doesn't compare to the glory to be revealed" (Romans 8:18)

Remember, we need the grace of God actively working in our lives everyday, Beloved.  We cannot and will not be able to survive in this life as a Christian without it.  It is a gift of God that we do not deserve but He freely gives to those who humble themselves and ask for it.  We must admit that we cannot do all that we need to do and live a life that is pleasing to the Lord apart from His grace.  He longs to hear us simply ask for help.  During the day, when your child is crying their eyes out and throwing a tantrum, ask for help.  Or, it was one of those night where you got next to no sleep but just spent the night trying to figure out what was wrong with your baby and wake up feeling less than human, ask for help.  When you are at home and don't think you can pick up one more mess, ask for help.  When you are exhausted at the end of a long day and your husband comes home and needs encouragement, love, affection, and someone to listen to him, ask for help.  When you are so discouraged from praying and praying for someone in your life to come to Christ and see nothing changing, ask for help.  He is always present and ready to answer the cries for help of His children.  He knows we cannot measure up to the standards laid out in scripture apart from His grace actively at work in our lives. We must be continually looking to Mt. Calvary and clinging with all our might to what was purchased for us there on that cross.  God has means that He uses to supply us with grace in our lives.  For example, reading, studying, and memorizing scripture, prayer, and communing with Him throughout the day.  These are just a few means that He uses to supply us with the grace that we need.  I have severely been lacking in these areas lately and my life has reeked havoc because of it.  Its a good thing we serve such a merciful Master.  By grace I have been saved.  I don't think there is any sweeter thought than that.

Much love to you Beloved,

Please know that the Lord loves to hear the sound of His children calling out for help and loves to see a desperate heart longing for more of Him...Seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him, there is no greater joy in this world then to have more of Christ...     

And then she was One...

"The Birthday Girl"

Today is my baby girl's first birthday...

Where did that year go?  I write this with literal tears.  I can still smell the bleach and vinegar that I went on a cleaning frenzy with days before she arrived.  My water broke at Toy's R Us at around 4:00pm, as I was taking something back for the fifteenth time in exchange for something I'm sure I never used but though I JUST had to have.  I called Michael who was working in Dalhart and told him it was time and he rushed home.  Then our plans of laboring at home went in the toilet because my water had broke and there was risk of infection after a few hours.  After being chewed out by the on call doctor for laboring at all at home (even though I had my doctor's approval) we grabbed the bags, the cutesy car seat with the crafty flower that I had hot glued on (its no longer there), the new, clean, and fancy diaper bag that I had just received from Serena & Lily (now missing a button and the strap is paper-clipped to hold it together), and headed for the car.  We got to the hospital, got checked in, and got ready to have a baby (so we thought).  I didn't start active labor until 6:30 am the next morning we arrived at 9:00pm that night.  So we made ourselves at home, well, as much at home as you can make yourself when you are hooked up to three different machines, have 85 plastic bracelets on your wrists, and are wearing a hospital gown that reveals your exterior :).  To top it all off, I wanted to have Lily naturally and these machines weren't leaving me a lot of room to "labor" as I planned to.  My plans weren't exactly going as I had envisioned in my head and written out in my "birth-plan" (whatever that is) but it was going exactly according to His plan, even though I was in the flesh and couldn't see it at the time.

The Lord so graciously opened my eyes, calmed me down, and extended His hand to me after I prayed and surrendered to His will instead of my own in the birth of our child that BELONGS to Him.  I asked Him for help and He answered.  He gave me help through my husband who never left my side (not even to eat), the kind and beautiful nurses that He provided, and by His strength that He provided for my body.  At around 6:30 I started what they call "active" labor, if that's active then I don't know what in the world they call the other stuff because it sure seemed "active" to me!  I started pushing at around 11:00 a.m., and gave birth to our little girl at around 12:04 p.m.  I have never been through anything more amazing than that event.  My life was forever changed and I had Christ to thank for it.

I had been given a gift that I didn't deserve.  A gift that God entrusted my husband and I with and put into our care temporally.  Her name was Lily Cait Graham and she danced into our hearts one year ago today.

Now that I told you of how she came into this world, I want to tell you a little bit about her...

Her name means "pure and innocent flower" and that is what she is.  The lilies in the Bible were considered a flower of rare beauty, elegance, and grace.  It's amazing to me how names are such a powerful thing.  She has the sweetest and kindest personality that I've ever seen, she loves people, has the most contagious smile and laugh, and just quite simply just takes my breath away.  She is our little Lily and I love her.

**Little side note here: As I look back on my first year as a mom, I wished I would have NOT worried so much, and sweated the small stuff, it robbed me of so many moments I could have just been enjoying and loving on my little girl.  It really all does work out, so don't be so as anxious as I was because it does go by as fast as they say! :)

I want to end this tribute to my daughter by writing her a short letter of what I pray for her...

My dearest Lily,

You have captured my heart my dear and will forever be my little girl.  I want to tell you what I pray for you and what I hope you will become.  First and foremost, Daddy and I pray that you would be saved at a young age so that you would have many years in this life to love and serve Christ, it will be your greatest joy my Daughter.  Second, I pray that you would become a woman that fears, loves, trusts, and is captured by Jesus Christ and that you would be devoted to Him and desire to give your life away for the cause of making His name known.  Third, I pray that you would be filled completely brim full of His love and compassion for the lost, hungry, poor, orphan, widow, afflicted and outcast.  Oh my dear, that your heart would break for what His heart breaks for and that you would display His love to the dying world around us.  Fourth, I pray that you would keep yourself pure because you want to love and obey Christ and for your husband to be.  I did not get to experience the joy and beauty this brings but I am praying you will my little girl.  Fifth, I pray that if it is the Lord's will for you to marry, you would marry a man that loves Christ more than he loves you, because if He does, there is no question of how he will treat you, his love for you will flow out of that relationship he has with Jesus and he will WANT to love you as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her.  Sixth, I pray that your focus would not be on your external beauty and on all the latest trends and fashions but that instead it would be internal and you would desire to focus on your heart and the kind of beauty that never fades.  Clothing yourself with  humility, kindness, meekness, joy, peace, and self-control and aiming to become a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very pleasing in the sight of the Lord (1 Peter 3:4).  Seventh,  please always always remember that growth is a process that you go through until you meet your King in Glory.  He is patient, loving, gentle, kind, merciful and full of more love than you could ever comprehend.  Remember His love little one, always, always remember His love.  The kind of love that loved so deep, so hard, so much, that He sent His beloved son to come and die in your place and take the punishment that you deserved so that you could live in eternity with Him (John 3:16) instead of eternity apart from Him in darkness forever.  We did not and don't do anything to deserve this kind of love, that is the gift of grace, it is truly unmerited favor in its highest form. 

My dear Lily I pray so much that you see Christ in your Dad and me but we will fail you in so many ways, so please look to Him who IS perfect and He will NEVER fail you and He will always be able to give you all the love you need.

Happy Birthday my sweetheart.  You have radically changed our lives and we are so glad you did.  You have brought more joy, excitement, sweetness, and love into our home than we could have ever imagined.  You are our treasure, our little Lily boo-boo, our 'Lil Cait,' our Tootie, and we are so thankful the Lord gave you to us.

With All my Love & Gratitude,

Momma

I would like to treat you to a couple of my favorite photos that chronicle the life of Lily.

 

 

 

Trying to fit in???

Picture of me in the first grade, and yes I wore this to school...

Lately, I've been thinking that its hard being a woman sometimes.  Insecurities, comparison, materialism, body image, and so many other things attempt to plague our minds day in and day out.  Why?  Why do we try so hard to fit in and be "accepted" if that's even what you want to call it.  Why do we constantly compare ourselves to other women?  This woman has it all together, this woman always looks perfect, this woman has so much cool stuff, this woman "pins" the neatest stuff on Pinterest, this woman looks like they have the "perfect" life (whatever that is), this woman is the best mother, this woman is so thin, this woman has great hair, and the list goes on and on and on....  Do you see what I'm getting at?  Why do we allow such thoughts, lies, emotions, and sins to rule our mind?

Then there is the desire to want to be a part of "that" group of women.  You know what I'm talking about.  For everyone this group looks different and is made up of different kinds of women.  I am not saying the group is either good nor bad, I am just saying we are always trying to be a part of it.  Remember high school?  We think if I could get the right clothes, the right hair do, and say the right thing, just maybe these people would look my way and somehow include me in there world.

Sadly, I've personally been a participant in all these things.  If I told you how hard I've tried to fit in with groups of people that I just so badly wanted to be a part of, YOU would be embarrassed for me!  To be quite honest, I've never been "cool," I've always been quite the opposite.  Let me just tell you a couple of stories so you can get the gist.  In elementary school my best-friends were my dogs and cats cause we lived on a farm, and I wore wedding veils and cat-woman costumes to school on a regular basis.  I didn't care what anyone thought and lived in my own world of imagination.  In junior high I fell down a flight of stairs in front of the whole lunch crowd and wore blue eyeshadow that made "mimi" from the Drew Carey Show look discrete.  In high school, I wanted to sell my car and proceeded to put the for sale sign on the OUTSIDE of the car instead of the inside and kept wondering why in the world the thing wouldn't stay on, and then did the same thing in college with a sun visor that my parents bought me to protect my car.  Hmmm...  Now, you get my point?  Then I married a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful man that was the same way growing up.  He used to crochet under his desk in Elementary school, hand out prizes to the boys playing football in first grade cause he didn't know how to play football yet, and then sit in his room all day teaching himself the piano and guitar and drawing cause he was grounded half his life.  We were made for each other...

No matter what we are like we ALL have insecurities and a desire to want to fit in, be accepted,  and be a part of something.  Sadly, I often don't do with these desires what I should.  Because I have all this in my soul, I should be running to the cross daily and moment by moment finding all that I need in Christ.  We KNOW that nothing else satisfies and even if we were ever able to get to that place of perfection we are aiming for, become friends with those people that we want to so badly, own, cook, or accomplish everything on our Pinterest board, write the coolest blog with the most hits, or get the most likes on Facebook.  (let's face it yall, if left unrestrained, our sinful nature really does work this way, at least mine does) We would still be left empty and completely unsatisfied.  We live in a consumer driven culture where's there's always something newer, better, and more alluring then the last thing.  We get and we get and we get but are left still wanting.  That's because only one thing will fill every void, longing, and desire in our souls and that's a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

However, it doesn't stop there, after being converted and given a completely new nature (1 Corin. 5:17) your desires have changed and you no longer want to go roll around in the filth and murk of the world, instead you desire Christ, His Word, and being with His people.  But since that pesky flesh is still intact until we meet Him in Glory we are constantly faced and tempted with sin.  Therefore, that is why I'm writing this blog.  I am tired of struggling with the same old sins that consume my time and rob me of joy found in the Lord.  In order to conquer this sin of comparison, longing to fit in, jealousy, and materialism.  I must look to Jesus Christ and His forgiveness of my sins and out of such gratitude for what He has done for me, aim to live a life that is honoring and pleasing to Him and Him alone.  You see, we must NEVER try to do things in order to gain a right standing before God because we CAN'T and never will!!!  It is only by grace and through faith in the Gospel that we are saved and cleansed of all our sin.

Again, if I had achieved this, I wouldn't be blogging about it.  This is an area where I desperately need to change and grow in.  I know that I can only do that through the empowering grace of God through His Holy Spirit helping me by sanctifying me through His Word and lots and lots of prayer.  It is a daily process and most of the times, not a very pretty one.  The encouraging thing is that we like little children grow in the Kingdom of God and we don't have to remain infants forever.  "Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
(1 Peter 2:2-3 ESV) 

I will conclude with this great encouragement Beloved.  I'm resolving for myself to not aim for the goals of this world which lead to destruction but to aim for goals of the coming Kingdom.  This is not our home so don't get too comfortable there are greater things to come, like getting to meet the Author and Finisher of our Faith, our Great Savior, Jesus Christ. If you don't fit in, be encouraged, you're not suppose to.  Jesus didn't...and He said, when the world hates you, remember that it hated me first...

Keep on Straining Toward the Goal!!!

12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Oh the Joy when we get to see Him face to face!!!

Much Much Love & Gratitude for God's Immeasurable Grace, 

Cait 

Confessions of a New Mother: Part 1

Lily at the beach in the Virgin Islands.

Hello there!

I hope all of your holidays were wonderful and filled with the joy!!!  We are just recouping from the holiday season around the Graham household.  We did A LOT of traveling and are very glad to be home for awhile.  Over the holiday season I've been thinking a lot about my new role as a mother.  There is a pool of emotions stirring around the the mind and heart of a new mother.  First, there's sleep deprivation through the newborn stage, then there's the shock of the newborn that sleeps all the time during the day coming alive stage, then there's the "wow, I think I've got this down," stage (this stage quickly passes,) and all of these stages are wrapped up into one big emotion that leads and drives all of our service to our little ones... 

"I could not possibly love this child anymore than I do that completely depends upon me for everything and looks at me with such dependence and innocence."

However, along the way there is lesson after lesson after lesson that you are learning while taking care of such a gift from God and there's a deepening realization that none of us really know what we are doing and we are all learning along the way.  With that being said, here are a few of 10 of my confessions while in the learning process.

1.  I have often pretended that having a child was a lot easier than it really is.  (The Lord convicted me of this and it was so relieving when I let down the front.)
2.  I don't wash my hair that often.  (I do bathe regularly but washing and drying of the hair has become foreign since becoming a momma.) Therefore, I use dry shampoo.  This stuff is a life saver for new mothers! (I've provided the link just in case you want to give it a shot)
3. I often eat standing up and really fast.  I used to be the slowest eater known to man, now I eat on the run and basically shovel the food into my mouth without tasting it.  
4. I sometimes fall asleep on the couch while Lily is watching Praise Baby and playing with her toys bright and early in the morning.  She is an awesome sleeper but I stay up way too late reading and hanging out with Michael so it leaves me tired in the mornings.  This is not a good habit and I need to start going to bed earlier but it has yet to change.
5. Lily and I are at Walmart and Target WAY too much.  I don't have a lot of ideas of places to go with a 10 month old, therefore, we end up at Walmart or Target.  We hardly ever buy anything but we just browse the isles to have an "outing," for the day.  You know its bad when your baby starts laughing when we start walking into Target and knows that we will make a lap around the dollar section when we enter.  I am currently working on finding more productive outings for Lily and I just in case you are worried.  :) 
6. I miss date nights with my husband.
7. After Lily goes to sleep around 7:30, I go into to check on her at least 5 times to make sure she's warm before going to bed.
8. I try to get the most of my money in a diaper, so sometimes I let it go way too long and we have a major leakage.  After cleaning it up, I realize this money saving idea was a bad idea. 
9. I sometimes get impatient with Lily when she's simply being a baby and fussing.  I feel it rising up in me and sometimes it terrifies me how much I'm not like Christ.  He is never impatient with me and I act as infant towards Him all the time.
10. I am still have so much in me that is selfish. 

Us mothers do so much during a day, we basically are in a daily process of dying to our self for the sake of another or others needs.  We don't get to sit down very often, we are constantly cleaning up after someone, we are always needed, lacking sleep, and sometimes under appreciated.  But the bottom line is, that's what we were designed to do.  If you are the Lord's and you are a mother it is a designated means that the Lord uses to conform you into the image of His Son.  He humbled himself to the place of a servant, even to the point of death.  That's some serious servitude.  

I just named a couple simple confessions and all of them are real and honest.  Some of them are just silly rantings of a new mom but some of them point me to my ever present need for more conformity to Christ.  This may sound harsh, believe me, most days I want to throw a pity party for myself and ignore the truths of Scripture but truth is truth.  And when I throw a pity party for myself no one ever shows up, its just me and my stubborn self.  But, when we surrender to the truth of the Gospel and take hold of the promises and grace that come through Jesus Christ then we have bliss and overwhelming peace.  Parenting doesn't seem so hard when you have God Himself guiding you, helping you, enabling you, and reminding you of His love for you moment by moment.  God laid out a very steep picture of a woman and mother in Scripture in the Proverbs 31 woman.  This woman has always seemed to taunt me with her obedience, serving heart, and discipline, but the reality is I just didn't want to aim that high.  But she was put into Scripture by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit for a divine purpose of ministering to us women the standard God holds out for us to aim for but NOT to go about it alone.

Therefore Beloved, may we look to our Lord Jesus for help, for He is our ever-present Help in time of need and He will never leave us or forsake us.  He is gracious and full of mercy just waiting for us to ask Him for help and depend upon Him for strength.  I pray that I never come across self-righteous or like I know it all.  That is the farthest thing from the truth.  I am just a pilgrim on this short journey and my only hope is Christ, I'm clinging to Him with all that I have because all I have is filthy rags.  "Oh, how He loves us!" "Oh, how He loves us!"

From one mother to another,

Caitlyn Graham